Brains and such.

You know those days when your mind has absorbed so many bizarre ideas and your heart has felt so many ridiculous and legitimate emotions that aren't remotely understandable, let alone describable, and your misplaced and redecorated mind frame is as crazy as the one that existed before this new one came about, and consequently you can hardly remember your own name, and your head goes into information over-load with the million things you COULD say, but sitting and stewing seems to be the easiest option?

Yeah, today is one of those days.
(I will not apologize for any grammatical errors found in the first sentence of this blog, and I WILL not go back and edit it. Disclaimer.)

My mind is in such a discontented place right now. It seems to be incessantly jumping between desiring what is comfortable and familiar, to longing for that which is exciting, new, and changing. Honestly, it really has no choice, and it should just settle on the unfamiliar; but I'm at such an awkward in-between stage with everything right now, that I am hardly allowing it to adjust. So it keeps jumping about tirelessly, causing me to be continuously exhausted by its antics. Ugh.

I suppose this could be difficult for an outsider to understand, as most of the changes are happening within myself. Sure, I am starting a new job, living in a different place, abiding by a different schedule, getting a new church calling-- but all of these changes are minor to the changes happening inside my... BRAIN.

I've always felt that 'brain' is such a morbid word. Whenever I use the word, Pinky and the Brain start chanting and dancing in my (mind), or I start to picture an image in my (mind) of pink, fleshy material being operated on during some discovery channel special. Sometimes, on especially bad days, I will even picture a small rodent that has been graciously smeared all over some rural road. So, often, I use the word 'mind' instead. It just paints a prettier picture when one considers the imagery the word 'brain' invokes. (I feel. Obviously.)

However, in this circumstance, the word 'mind' just doesn't cut it. 'Mind' does FEEL less morbid to me, but it also seems to be that certain part of a person that discusses novels, love, profound ideas, and philosophical things. It doesn't really deal with the ins and outs of everyday life, as it is far too advanced for things so menial. (Oh come on-- not my mind, kids; minds in general. Yeesh.)

My BRAIN is currently taking a serious beating and frying, so therefore my mind has become irrelevant to my... life. She is floating, somewhere (probably) fantastic, waiting for her relevancy to return.

In the mean time, brain and I have a lot of things we've got to figure out.

About life.

So, please, by all means, wish us luck.
We're gonna need it...
because last I heard? Life is tough.

And I apologize for being so melodramatic. Maybe daddy was right about the waves...

1 comment:

brooke said...

your blog is continually my favorite reading material.