Locke and Demosthenes

There are a few things that I am currently dying to blog about, but before I force you to delve yourself into the intricacies of my life, I will tell you a story.

Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, I have a Bio 100 class at 8am. This morning, as I was walking back from lecture, I chose a route back to my vehicular-device that involved the South-of-campus-suicide-stairs. There just so happens to be a Y-lot at the bottom of those steps that I am quite fond of, and use regularly.

As I began the trek down the significantly inclined steps, I noticed a snowman someone had built on the right-hand side towards the top. Thinking that this was a strange place for a person to build a snowman, and knowing that I didn't really have anywhere important to be, I decided to examined it.

The snowman had a face that was full of enmity. He had, what looked like, an AK47 caulked and pointed at an unknown, and rather unfortunate, being. He was equipped with a plethora of warring material, and one could tell by the expression curled on his upper lip (yes, this snowman had an upper lip) that he was not afraid to use it. In a moment of utter surprise as I realized this particular snowman's intentions, I became mildly afraid of what he could possibly do.

Satisfied with my inspection, I continued my walk down the steps. However, my trek was short, as just a few feet from the initial snowman, I spotted another one. This one was on my left hand side. This snowman seemed to be the unknown and unfortunate victim of the first snowman's rage, as he was missing a head. His head was crumbled into four pieces, and laying on the ground next to the snowman's lifeless body. (I mean, I would assume that a snowman would be lifeless without its head.)

Disturbed by the carnage I had just witnessed, I became more anxious to get to my car. So I walked faster. However, my journey was, again, short lived. As I scuttled around snow clumps and ice patches, I nearly knocked over two snowman huddled together in fright-- their arms thrown about one another. It was sickening, seeing their horror. And these two were not the last, either. Before I got to the bottom of the South-of-campus-suicide-steps, I ran into at least five more snowmen who were either already assassinated by snowman #1, or hopelessly hiding their faces, trying to blend in with their surroundings so that perhaps, by some lucky chance, assassin snowman wouldn't take advantage of their immobility with his AK47.

In case you aren't aware, the scene of a snowman homicide is not a regular occurrence on BYU campus. I have pondered this circumstance, and I have concluded that it could be the result of one of three things:

• High school-aged boy does poorly on his midterm report card, and his mother finally gets the gall to take away his x-box privileges. Not only does this cause incurable boredom in his system, but he also begins to pent up anger, and will possibly explode if it is not vented. As a result, he spends an afternoon, evening, and 3 hours into the morning creating, and then assassinating a family of snowmen.
  
• College-aged girl spends 3 hours doing her hair and make up and putting together an outfit so she can look fab for that cute boy in her physical science class. However, the second she walks out the door, a massive amount of falling snow flattens her hair, runs her makeup, and makes her socks soaking wet. By the time she reaches the MARB, she somewhat resembles a poodle that was thrown into the ocean, and then rolled in a sandbox soon after, and she smells like she has been pounded with a rotten fish for hours. The cute boy (who promised to save her a seat) immediately leaves his seat when she chooses to sit down in the one next to him, and he never talks to her again. Consequently, she blames the snow. As fury courses through her system, she begins scheming. She decides the best way to get back at the snow is to commit a mass homicide of the innocent, yet to be born snowmen. To avoid being arrested by campus police, she decides to frame yet ANOTHER snowman, and gets off free.


• A family home evening group is fresh out of ideas for activities, and so they decide to recreate a depiction of Calvin and Hobbe's comics for all of BYU campus to enjoy.

I have included a variety of these comics for YOUR personal enjoyment and pleasure. (You can thank me later.)

...

FREAK. Blogger. No dice. It won't let me upload the Calvin and Hobbes.

...Come to think of it, lately it won't let me upload anything.

... Conspiracy theory. It's gotta be.

Maybe I'll put them up later. Maybe I won't. It's really blogger's cooperation that dictates that.

Anyway.

So yeah, big changes in my life lately. Over Christmas break my old orthodontist walked into the mall office to buy some gift certificates. Our receptionist was out of town, and I was the lucky person who got to cover for her. I recognized him, and struck up a conversation with him. We chatted for a bit, he left and a few minutes later I got a phone call from him. He said, "Hey, I was just thinking, and we've got a spot that will be opening in our office. I just think you would be great for the job. Starting pay is $11.00/hr, after training it is $12.50, and by the end of the year you should be making $14.00/hr. It includes dental and health benefits, paid time off, and it is full time. If you're interested, submit a resume... if not, keep wearing your retainer!"

I got off the phone with him, and started thinking about the logistics of everything. Full time. That's intense-- especially for someone who is trying to finish their degree as soon as possible. I pseudo-pushed it out of my mind, and didn't think about it again until Christmas Eve when I told my parents. My dad was hesitant like I was because of my schooling, but my mom was all over it. Because of her influence I decided that it would be worth a shot. Over the break, we figured out a schedule that could work with a full time work schedule and a full time school schedule. I went to Jersey for a week and pseudo-forgot about it again. I submitted a resume the day I got back, and had an interview the next day (yesterday). I went to the interview, was offered the job, accepted, submitted a 2 weeks notice to my current job (one I have had for almost 2 years) and haven't looked back since.

This will be my schedule for the coming semester:

• Monday: Class from 8-8:50, work from 9-5
• Tuesday: Work from 7:45-5:30, Class from 5:30-7:10
• Wednesday: Class from 8-8:50, Work from 9-5:30, Class from 5:10-7:40
• Thursday: Work from 7:45-4:30, Class from 5:10-7:40
• Friday: Class from 8-8:50, Free sailing the rest of the day
• Saturday: Free
• Sunday: Church

It's kind of a lot to swallow, but I am so excited to be working at this office. The people seem wonderful so it will be a great atmosphere to work in. I will be an orthodontist assistant, so I will be trained in skills that will make me more marketable. (That sounds so dreary, but I am legitimately excited about it.) Also, some other perks: they provide the clothing, which just so happens to be super cute American Eagle shirts and pants. We go on a "team-building" trip once a year in the summer-- all expenses paid for by the business. Last year they went on a cruise, they've been to Hawaii, New York, Florida.. Definite gem. Booze Cruise anyone?

I'm planning on living in the Italian house next semester, as I am also planning on going to school Spring and Summer. It should be a great experience, and my Italian should improve greatly.

Also, I've been using a dinosaur phone the past couple of weeks because I had phone trauma with Sprint. It's ridiculous. However, my wonderful mother convinced them to send me a new LG Lotus today. That's sweet. Thank heaven for mothers.

And there you have it. The intricacies of my life, congealed with a bizarre story of a snowman homicide that happened on our very own BYU campus.

As for those Calvin and Hobbes comics...

Someone should tell blogger not to hate me anymore. That'd be nice.