On dating:

I suppose that sitting on my bed, typing on my computer, eating Hershey's special dark with Teddy Grahams alone on a Saturday night causes my credibility on the subject of dating to disintegrate almost entirely. However, now that I have completely demolished my Ethos on said topic, I can continue with this post, and express my opinion without fear of judgment from third parties who might expect otherwise.

Dating, per se, tires me-- completely.

In fact, I personally think that dating is inherently flawed. I will clarify here that the type of dating I am talking about is not exclusive. It is, however, the prerequisite to exclusive dating; or, stated clearly, the completely obnoxious, and subjective aspects of pre-defined relationships. Some of these aspects are so obnoxious, in fact, that sometimes the "courting rituals" found on the Discovery Channel seem more likely to influence the affections of the opposing party.

Number one thing I dislike about dating: The games. He said, she said, your mom said, your sister's-roommate's-cousin's-aunt's-co-worker said...Honestly, I'm all about honesty when it comes to dating. (Not that I'm not about honesty in other situations, but as this post is dedicated to the propensity, or perhaps, the inability of daters everywhere, I am defining this honesty solely as that honesty found in a pending relationship.) Life is complicated enough without having to learn the ranks of the grape vine, or to decipher messages as unclear as hyroglyphics. Unfortunately, there is no Rosetta stone of dating, and as far as grape vines go-- My friend Marvin can tell you all about that one. As a short victim of grape-vine horridness, I'm sure Mr. Gaye would agree with me when I say, down with the vining, stop wasting time, let's do some loving. Don't believe me? Validation found HERE. (Please note that I am not encouraging you to venture to your latest crush's apartment and sing this song, or even something like it to him/her. Please, set boundaries for yourself. However, I do think that something can be learned from Marvin's honesty. And, if nothing else, it's a great song. )

Number two thing I hate about dating: The pressure. I can assure you, I would be considerably more willing to venture on a double date or two every once and a while if I didn't think the boy might consider proposing afterwards. Unfortunately, this is an unfortunate circumstance that goes both ways, for both males and females. Dictionary.com defines a date as: a social appointment, engagement, or occasion arranged beforehand with another person. And yet, there are still people that think one date equals a trip to eternity with their unlucky winner of the night. Problematic? I think so. Boys and girls, let's make it easier on everyone, and think of a date as just that-- a social appointment engagement, or occasion arranged beforehand with another person. See, we're breathing easier already.

Number three thing I hate about dating: Why do they have to last twelve hours? Really, boys. We're sure you're a great person, and we're sure that you have a million fabulous, romantic ideas specifically designed to win our affection or to entertain us for hours on end, but really, we have lives outside of the small event you created for us. We like to accomplish things besides laughing at your endless jokes, attempting to push awkward small talk, holding our spoons just right, and constantly evaluating our body language for fear that we will come off as a number two. we don't like feeling obligated to spend all night humoring your shy attempts at impressing us. Plan the date, stick with that said date, and when it's over, drop us off. Think of it-- you're home in time for SNL, with an addition of a bundle of great date ideas for a later undisclosed time to boot. Now isn't everyone happier?

Number four thing that I'm just peeved about in general: When a girl says that she is waiting for a missionary, and he is coming home in 5 (Short!) months, it basically means that she doesn't really give a crap what your phone number is, or how badly you want to go out with her on Saturday. And when she tells you no for a Saturday night date, it doesn't mean push a breakfast or lunch date on her. And when she ignores your incessant calls and texts because you simply won't give up on her, it doesn't mean she didn't get your texts--it means stop trying to contact her. She wants absolutely nothing to do with you.

Number five thing that I'm peeved about in general: Male egos. More specifically, the type of male ego that simply MUST have the upper hand at all times. That is all I will say on that.

Anyway, as I sit and type about my peeves of dating and males, eating my Honey Grahams, and pondering the concept of dating, I am finding myself increasingly more content with the fact that I am home, sitting on my bed, blogging, and ready to dive into my newly purchased Camus book.

As for the dating, I am finished with you.
Give me about six months, and I can sign that statement in blood. ;)


Claire said...

Yeah yeah yeah!!

Less than six months girl. You'll be done forever :)

brooke said...

this made me LOL and scream "YEAH!" in the with strong agreement.

Rebeccah Louise said...

1. this post was awesome.

2. "Unfortunately, there is no Rosetta stone of dating"

3. Albert Camus is in my top 5 favorite authors. What are you reading? I must know!

JulSH said...

okay, a week without a new blog...you ok?

Sarah said...


I have TEN more months to endure, so I bought myself a cheap (but pretty dang realistic-looking) ring to wear. It's been mostly effective.

Dating = barf.
Kaylie = my hero.