12.3.09

Wellllll

I'm getting sick again.


Bio test, English project.

A lot of OJ and fruit snacks.

5 minutes power naps during class.


And I want Leland James to come home.

Of course not early.
I just want to be with him.
Because I miss him a WHOOLLE lot.
And I love him even more than that.

But I got a letter today.

Sometimes I love the letter thing, because I feel as though it is a lost art-- One that is lost in facebook, texting, email, and perhaps even the telephone. There's just something about opening an envelope that you know the person you love sealed for you; the handwriting that is so perfectly their own, the smell of the paper that was once flattened by their palms (okay, that sounded a bit creepy...); the utter CLOSENESS you can feel to that person, even though you are miles and miles away. It's astounding.

THAT is why I BAWLED my eyes out while watching Knights of Rodanthe at home, on my laptop, in my bed, a week or so ago. (Yes, I am kind of a loser; however, I actually had quite the good time with myself, my laptop, that video, and my dark chocolate M&Ms. Plus, I could cry about a stupid chick flick, and I didn't have to be embarassed because there were 12 other people watching it with me, NOT crying. Except now I feel like a goob because I just confessed my personal emotions displayed while watching a somewhat cheesy, somewhat ridiculous, chick flick. Gross.)

Anyway.

So today I got a letter. And I was very happy to receive that letter. (TRUST me.) However, perhaps because of my severe lack of sleep this week, or maybe I can attribute it to my approaching illness, or maybe some stress due to much homework and very little time--after reading and opening the letter, I became somewhat irked at the letter in my hand. Well, maybe not the actual LETTER, but rather, the IDEA of the letter. The fact that the person I love more than anything is thousands of miles away, and I miss him so much that sometimes I just want to crawl in a hole and hibernate until August comes rolling around. I became annoyed at the fact that I don't know what his life is like, really. Just little bits and pieces. I became annoyed that I was annoyed, and couldn't call him up to talk to him about it.

And then I just got a little sad at myself.

Sad because Lj's mission might be the best thing that has ever happened to us-- individually AND as a couple. I am so grateful for his willingness to serve. For his goodness. For the person he is. And then I realized that my annoyance wasn't really annoyance-- but rather, exhaustion. I'm just ready for him to be home.

Here's to 5 months.

And this cute boy:
P.S. I'm sorry I don't have the time, or energy to write well anymore. This blog has pretty much become my not-so-regular, thought-vomit, internet database. I suppose I should consider changing its title to something more appropriate...

6 comments:

Angie said...

loved it. NOT thought-vomit, although that made me laugh. your missionary is CUTE and needs to come home. sigh. hopefully august comes quick!!

Claire said...

Oh Kaylie. 5 months is so soon, but I know how long it can feel.

I know.

I feel such love for Leland James. I can't wait to meet him. And go on double dates :)

Mmm. Love.

JulSH said...

Bronco? Chad will be so jealous!

Tick, tick, tick goes the slow 5 months. Funny how looking forward at time seems so slow, but looking back in time seems like life is going by fast.

kendra said...

Hey, I want to go on double dates too!! Maybe triple dates? But first I need to find a bf . . .

Also, question: can I just love you a lot this weekend?

Pauline said...

I just know about long distance relationships. I started with one and now I have another one. I will go quicker than you think. though it will seem like really slo-mo.

Sarah said...

:`(