I am embarrassed to be making my voice heard again to the blogging world with no changes to my layout except some wrapper adjusting, a little tidge (which, apparently is not a word... who knew?) to my widgets, a small change to the width of the body, and a description that now more accurately describes what this blog is. The problem with my whim of a desire to change my blog layout and then broadcast it to the blogging world is that I have come to learn, in my short 20 years of life, that I am a love-at-first-sight kind of person; so getting rid of a layout that I just so happen to like A LOT probably wasn't the best idea I've had all week.
It's ironic, though, because I spent a good 19 years of my 20 being cynical of that very idea. Love at first sight, I mean. I'm continually learning about myself, though, and here's the thing-- when I like something, whether it be a dessert, an article of clothing, a blog layout page, or a boy, I LUHIIIIKE that something. And most of the time I know from the second we meet what kind of a lovely relationship we will have in the future.
Upon meeting strangers, ('meeting' here does not just mean a small handshake and an exchange of names, but rather an amount of time spent with an unfamiliar face, time which I consider the 'meeting' period) I am usually not chatty or uppity with the person. I think this initially comes off as shyness, but in reality, it's just my way of entertaining this person's place in the world in my mind. I'm cautious when it comes to people, and observant while meeting them for the first time. Before opening the book that is my life to them, I like to get somewhat of an idea what they will do with that information after I divulge. Consequently, my relationships in which I do allow my wall to come down have much depth to them, but are also few and far-between.
That sounds selfish. That whole paragraph. Darn it.
Upon meeting strangers, I am not only worried about myself. I don't sit and stew about how 'meet-ee' could wrong me. I just watch, and listen, and ask questions to get a general idea about the person at large. Oftentimes it's out of mere curiosity, not simply out of some strange, defensive barrier I place between myself an another person. I'm not completely socially inept, or selfish for that matter.
I met Leland James Sikahema Summer of '04. We were obviously just friends then, seeing that I was only 15, he was 16, and I was on the other side of the country. However, after meeting him, I couldn't get him out of my head. It was pure, it was heavy, it was love. I hadn't had a crush like this one since Stuart Coombs in the 2nd grade. I checked my email on a daily basis hoping one would come from him, wrote his last name next to my first over and over again during class, and told all of my girlfriends at sleepovers that I liked a cute boy from New Jersey named Lj. This all sounds creepy and obsessive of me, I realize that. And honestly? It probably was. But, obviously, the feeling was mutual, (at least somewhat... I'm sure Lj wasn't writing his last name next to my first name all up in his school notebooks...) because check us out now, nearly 5 years later. I cannot get enough of this boy.
Another example: Vitamin water. This one doesn't have such a happy ending, though, so brace yourself. The summer before my freshman year of college, I wandered into the Smith's by my house one night to get a snack and a redbox to entertain myself for a few hours. Strolling down the beverage aisle, a line of colorful, powerade-shaped bottles caught my attention. (Acutally, the yellow tag below the bottles reading $.89 probably caught my attention first, but the bottles soon followed, I assure you.) I had never tried this particular beverage before, and the adventurer in me that so rarely makes itself known to myself decided to pipe into my mental assessment of the situation and beverage. I decided to try it.
I loved it, from day 1. I can honestly say that I drank a Vitamin water 95% of my days as a BYU freshman. A day just wasn't a day without a Vitamin water. In all my naïveté, though, I failed to realized the caloric intake from that small addiction. At the end of my freshman year, I knew I had put on some lbs. Not the typical fifteen everyone likes to yap about, but I definitely wasn't the twig-of-a-person that I was in high school. There are probably a lot of reasons this occurred, but for this case, I will blame the Vitamin water. So do these people. Oh, Vitamin water. Curse your deceptive facade of a healthy, beveragey snack by placing 'vitamin' in the title, and large percentages on the back. I am now proud to say that I am Vitamin water-free, even after they announced their "10 cal" version-- I drink happy, healthy water.
Sometimes, as with the above account, my 'love at first sights' go dreadfully awry. But most of the time, the limbo, 'meeting' period is thorough enough that I build happy, life-long relationships with my 'love at first sight' candidates. I don't blame the Vitamin water for what it did to me. I simply blame my lack of observation. The Vitamin water WANTED to be something good, but it simply was not in the make-up. I gave it the benefit of the doubt, when I should have retained my fortress.
Now, in closing, I would like you to deeply ponder the following question: (feel free to comment when you have come to a conclusion)
Do YOU believe in love at first sight?
Or do I have to walk by again?
Baptism, grandparents, and Marathon Kids
2 months ago