loestrin. 24.

my soul has been quiet lately.

it's a good quiet-- like the quiet of your house when you come home from Disneyland, and your Dad carries in your sleepin' little brother in his arms because it's late and way past all of your bed times, and in your bedroom the bed is made and your pillow is soft and cold and fluffy because it's been almost a week since it has been slept on, and you breathe in deeply because the smell is familiar, and the rooms are welcoming, and you feel soft and you feel safe there after a weeks of riding crazy rides and trying new things and traveling on strange roads for what seemed like eternity.

you look back on the week, grateful for everything that went into the adventure-- for the relationships that you built, for the adventures you had, and for the exhilaration of it all... but when you finally get home, you are more than ready for it that little, patterned, quilted blanket of familiarity that it provides. you are more than ready to rid yourself of the strange-smelling hotel beds, the processed food, and the up and downs of the many roller coasters you placed yourself in.



lately, i feel calm, a lot. part of that is husband, i know. he calms me. he gives me perspective. and he loves me. a lot. and i love him. a lot.

but there are other reasons i am changing, i think.


last march. i was almost 20. almost. i cried a lot, then. probably every other day. i was lost, a little. confused, maybe.


but i was happy. life was good. it was just up and down, spinning, dropping, turning, and accelerating all the time.



life is a different kind of good, now. i'm home now. and husband is home with me. and we love each other. and life is calm, and happy, and good.

i was ready for this calm.

..this calm before the storm?



babies.