20.9.10

An attempt at portraying impossible emotion.

I haven't written in a while. Mostly it's because I've been keeping things inside of me.
{Quite literally.}

Specifically one thing.

This one tiny thing has tiny little fingers, tiny little toes, a tiny little heartbeat, and a tiny, very bouncy, little personality.


It's hard to know how to write about big things.
{Big things that are little.}




Today we saw baby for the first time.


The second its little head and neck and torso and fingers and elbows and toes showed up on the screen, I forgot the nausea. I forgot the fatigue. I forgot the headaches. I forgot the prenatal vitamins that make me want to stab my eyes out.


As I looked at that tiny little figure, not only did I forget the difficulty of the previous 3 months, but I ceased to think whatsoever. Emotion gulped me into its abdominal cavity, and I was able to do nothing but feel. Feel pure joy. Feel pure love.


The day I married my best friend was easily the best day of my life. Because of that best day, I will have many more best days as I live my life with him, as we live our life together.


This day was one of those best days.






Because it's one of those things that I'm not sure mere words can capture.

Because this story is our story.
And only hands-in-the-mud-face-in-the-sand, hair in the wind, kool-aid stained smiling reality can tell it.



In the mean time, though, I'll give the details.



I'm 14 weeks pregnant. It was not an accident.
We want this baby more than anything.
Baby already brings us so much happiness.

March 21 is laborday.

Baby's heart beats.
And baby jumps like a kangaroo.


We're poor.
And we're in school.
We've got to work hard.

But baby is healthy.


We have never been happier,
And God is teaching me why.

22 comments:

Chris and Mary said...

I knew it! Your last post made suspicious, in a good way of course. Congratulations, you two! Best of luck with the rest of your pregnancy!

Jeffrey said...

MY HEART IS POUNDING RIGHT NOW KAYLIE!!!!!!!!!!
OH MY GOSH!!!!!!
I can't believe it! I AM SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO EXCITED FOR YOU AND LJ!!!!
Man, I'm gonna cry

AdrianneJayne said...

Today when Lane said you were at the doc... I had a sneaky suspicion this was the reason. I am so unbelievably happy for you guys. You will be amazing parents, and you guys deserve this wonderful blessing! Thanks for sharing the good news!

B said...

Oh, Kaylie, this makes me so happy! I love you both, well, really, all three of you!

Aimee said...

aaah! claire just told me this wonderful news on friday. i'm so ecstatic for you two. what a beautiful baby it will be!

Julie said...

I am so. So happy right now. Best mom ever, coming up! Seriously Kaylie, you are going to rock this baby's socks off.

Chad & Chels said...

I'm so happy for you guys! I saw L.J. a few weeks ago and he told me the good news. So exciting! And a fitting due date! :) Congratulations

Camille Spence said...

congratulations!! that is very exciting news! your baby is going to be beautiful, i've always known you two were destined to make gorgeous children!

Megan Cahoon said...

Hooray the word is out I don't have to be quite anymore!!! I'm so super excited for you i have been waiting to ask you how you are feeling and doing. I hope you are feeling slightly better than the last time we spoke. If you ever need to talk about anything goin on i am here to listen. So happy for you two! it's so fun being prego. hooray for babies

sarah said...

This is for sure one of my all-time favorites of your blogs. I don't know if you could have done any better portraying that. So happy. SO SO happy! I love you and I can't wait for you two! :)

Erin Collins said...

Ahh so wonderful Kaylie!! That was one of the best moments of my life too. Its wonderful! I am so happy for you and LJ!!

brooke said...

Oh man i love this.
i call dibbs on that baby.
like holdin it and babysittin it and stuff.

Allie Hymas said...

Oh my. As if I wasn't baby hungry already, this post made it completely out of control! Congrats, you will be an amazing mommy!

Pauline said...

I'm so happy for you. You'll love all the rest of the time you have left. Both of you will make amazing parents because you both have amazing parents. Isabelle wanted to go and see your baby right a way. I had to tell her that the baby wasn't born yet. Not understanding the concept yet. Talk to you later. Have a lot of baby stuff that you can have though. Really cool baby stuff.

kaTie said...

ahhh. I hate finding out about these kind of things on the internet.

Anna said...

You will be a beautiful mother, with all the features truly entailed in the word.

Congratulations.

Kayleigh said...

oh, i'm so so so happy for you times infinity!

p.s. it was good to run into you in the wilk. :)

Angie said...

I love you and I am so happy for you! Beautifully written post, as always. You will make such great parents.

Manda said...

you know that feeling when your heart almost hearts its so happy and full? you are going to be the most amazingest mommy kaylie. that is one lucky little kangaroo Ü

Rebeccah Louise said...

Yay! I'm so happy for you!
Baby's are the very nicest thing in the entire world.

lana.aleyse said...

March 21 is my birthday! It's a wonderful day to be born! YAY BABIES!

Tava said...

Your going to be the best parents ever! I love you!