An attempt at portraying impossible emotion.

I haven't written in a while. Mostly it's because I've been keeping things inside of me.

{Quite literally.}

Specifically one thing.

This one tiny thing has tiny little fingers, tiny little toes, a tiny little heartbeat, and a tiny, very bouncy, little personality.

It's hard to know how to write about big things.

{Big things that are little.}

Today we saw baby for the first time.

The second its little head and neck and torso and fingers and elbows and toes showed up on the screen, I forgot the nausea. I forgot the fatigue. I forgot the headaches. I forgot the prenatal vitamins that make me want to stab my eyes out.

As I looked at that tiny little figure, not only did I forget the difficulty of the previous 3 months, but I ceased to think whatsoever. Emotion gulped me into its abdominal cavity, and I was able to do nothing but feel. Feel pure joy. Feel pure love.

The day I married my best friend was easily the best day of my life. Because of that best day, I will have many more best days as I live my life with him, as we live our life together.

This day was one of those best days.

Because it's one of those things that I'm not sure mere words can capture.

Because this story is our story.

And only hands-in-the-mud-face-in-the-sand, hair in the wind, kool-aid stained smiling reality can tell it.

In the mean time, though, I'll give the details.

I'm 14 weeks pregnant. It was not an accident.

We want this baby more than anything.

Baby already brings us so much happiness.

March 21 is laborday.

Baby's heart beats.

And baby jumps like a kangaroo.

We're poor.

And we're in school.

We've got to work hard.

But baby is healthy.

We have never been happier,

And God is teaching me why.