small day.

i revived my youth a little today. because the sun was shining, and i could feel the youth inside my rib-cage. it was bubbling. so i drove with the windows down, and the radio loud, and i smacked my gum like a child, even though i never chew gum because it hurts my intestines. i almost pulled my hair from the wispy french-braid i threw it into this morning. but i'm not quite that youthful, still.

you know those kind of sublime and unearthly experiences that you sometimes have, such as déjà vu? the ones that leave your fingers tingling and your mind pounding and you feel like you've almost reached this climax that you never even knew existed-- so your heart pounds and reaches for the rest, but it is just barely out of your grip and then the experience fades slowly, and all the sudden you are back in a classroom with desks in a circle talking about irish literature?

i wondered what it would be like to be husband today, and had one of those experiences. it's like, we're living the same life, right? ish? and so we have all of these things that we see and feel and experience together, and i know how i feel, but he's an entirely different person than i am. and his experiences are completely different. but sometimes i feel so at one with him, that i nearly forget we are two people. which is silly.


oh, but how i love him.


i kiss him all the days.