To Claire:

I know a boy who just moved to Germany on Monday.

{I figure this is relevant information to you.}

{Even considering the size of Germany.}

{Even considering you aren't in Germany, but Austria.}

{Even considering the size of Europe.}

{He's Mormon?}

His given name is Russ Robinson,


2 months ago, he changed his name to:

Wolfgang Amadeus.

{Yes, like Mozart.}
{Yes, first and last name.}
{No, his parents weren't okay with it.}
{Yes, he did it anyway.}
{Yes, solely for the purpose of his moving to Germany.}
{No, he doesn't speak German.}
{Yes, he is psychotic.}

What to look for:
-Flaming red hair with a white spot the size of a quarter in the back
-Dolce and Gabbana Eyeglasses
-Trumpet (I've heard he plays)

If you happen to see him wandering around...
give him my best. And probably yours, too.

Also, I love you ever so much.
Baby come back.


Rebeccah Louise said...

oh my gosh! why did I find this post so funny?
I'm in the library trying to be quiet and i almost peed my pants trying to laugh quietly.

claire.bear said...

Aah! I've never had a blog post devoted to me before :)
I'm hoping to go to Germany, so when I do I'll keep my eyes alert. What city is he staying in?

claire.bear said...

I'm really bad at reading sarcasm.

Dang it. I suck.